he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
