The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
