Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
