You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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