Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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