if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
