I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She even gives head with a lisp.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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