I want to walk on stilts...naked
He kissed a someone with a penis
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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