12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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