THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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