Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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