dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
