there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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