I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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