Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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