i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
