he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just cropdusted the office
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
