That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
