Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
