ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
