? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
