she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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