i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
