You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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