i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
