This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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