Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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