Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
