Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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