Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
