Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
