he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We need to get me chipped asap
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
