Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
