and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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