dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
