Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
