she looked like the before picture.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
