butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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