U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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