Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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