can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize