So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
BRING THE BAGELS
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
