we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
