sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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