wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
