im drinking this country out of the recession.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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