I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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