he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
