I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
