i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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