Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Jerry, you need to find god
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
