I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
